Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come.
[ 2 Corinthians 5:17
(GNT)]
Donna says:
I am 43, nearly 44, and I have been on disability the majority of my life because of severe mental depression through many different traumatic circumstances that occurred during my childhood. I chose to make a lot of bad choices, and through those choices it nearly cost me my life.
I have been through some terrible things; rape, molestation, peer pressure, or childhood aberrations “you’re worthless, no good and you will always be just like your father”; I heeded to those words took them straight to my heart and lived everyday as a shameful, disgusted, ugly, worthless, no-good human being .
I was raised in a private Christian school, and the word of GOD was instilled in me at a very young age; PRAISE BE TO GOD FOR THAT, or I would not be here today! I became promiscuous at the age of 14 because my “father” who was the apple of my eye became deathly sick, and he died at the age of 48 years old. That was 2 years before he died; I became pregnant and was taken to the NORTHSIDE FA MILY PLANNING CLINIC and MADE to have an abortion. That is when I separated myself from GOD my Heavenly Father, and my father on earth, and I blamed my mother for not speaking up for me for many years.
Now, as I look back and in knowing those 30 years ago a woman in the household had “no say so”, and she also worked 2 jobs just to maintain our family household. Today, my Mother and my daughter are everything to me, and without their prayers growing up; I know that I would not be here today. I was so angry at the whole world, so full of blame, rage, vengeance, guilt, shame, remorse, confusion and hatred, and my self-esteem was so low that I drank and drugged every day just to cover-up the pain.
I was saved in 2001 by the Grace of GOD at Dalton House of Prayer by; believe it or not a Pastor who was my former dealer and today is still my brother in CHRIST, friend, mentor, and Pastor. However; I had so many strongholds that just could not be broken so easily, it was not as simple as “just get saved”, go lay it all down at the alter, and go on your healed… NO! I had 28 years of demons that were lurking around inside of me that had to be renounced! I had been a prostitute for over 20 years, so everyone I slept with that they slept with that they slept withes demons; I now had. I had played around with tarot cards, demons of lying, manipulation, demons of suicide and depression. I knew the Word of GOD, and I knew I had to read and study, but I just couldn’t shake this feeling that I had in my chest that I just couldn’t put my finger on. .
I just knew every time I had that feeling “I had to have a drink or a drug. That feeling was called “EMOTIONS” and I did not know what they were. You see; I only knew 2 emotions ~ RAGE and ANGER! Anyway, I just couldn’t fight that battle and, I went back out to the streets for a couple more years. Well, a great Blessing came when GOD shut my liver down, and I literally “lost my mind”. I could not stop drinking, and here I was on Interferon going down to Atlanta every week, and the Doctors saying there was no hope. My family has even to this day paid for my funeral. Then one day, the Doctor came in and said, “Miss Gentry, someone up stairs really loves you, because you liver enzymes are dropping”. My family took me home, put me in the bed, and begged me not to open the door. The devil came knocking, and I willingly opened the door.
There was a man; who is dead today, and another friend with all the illicit drugs that I needed to end my life. I was as green as a lime when my mother saw me 2 days later; because she couldn’t track me down. She took one look at me, and walked out the door, and said “I had rather see you in that casket than to see you live your life like this anymore” and she left. My daughter was 17 and had already moved in with my mother.
I don’t recall how long that I laid in my own feces and vomit, but when I cried out to JESUS and a sk HIM “what do you want with me?” “Why will you not just let me die?” In that instant something happened to me. I got up, cleaned up, and called another friend in the church that had been through similar experiences; he came and got me and took me to a “meeting”. GOD used those “meetings” as a scalpel for 1 year of my sobriety, and then he moved me into the Christian 12 steps of recovery with so many loving women that I learned how to love like CHRIST, feel my emotions and then I could teach others the way to CHRIST. I have made so many mistakes’ through the years, but to me they were only lessons learned on this journey through life. I am often asked now, “do I feel once an addict always an addict?” My answer is NO! I was saved by GRACE, and through FAITH GOD made me a new creation.
2 Cor. 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in CHRIST JESUS he is a new creation, all things have passed away and all things have become new”! If the Son is Free, then I am free in deed. I was the problem; not the drugs or the alcohol, and once I realized that I had to take responsibility for all of my faults, and stop blaming others, then GOD starting repairing me! It is amazing at how just saying “I am sorry for the bitterness that I have had in my heart for someone can release a person from so much! It was also during this time that I went to a Perry Stone Conference and was baptized to pray in the SPIRIT, and then I met a man who was in deliverance. Praise is to GOD, because I had so many strongholds from being a prostitute for 20 years, there were just some possessions that did not want to leave me. Praise GOD for this man, through GOD, he worked with me for months, and 7 demons were cast out, and I was truly set free. I then met my other mentor and Spiritual Father and Leader, and from there; I started an Outreach Ministry, working with the homeless, domestic violence men, women and children, addicts and alcoholics. I have received my EMT license ; I have been through all but 2 classes of LPN school; and I had to withdrawal due to health complications. I am now finishing up on my Associates in Medical Assisting, and after an Achilles tendon reconstruction that was “botched” and no other Doctors wanted to touch me. I did not walk for 9 months, but I am walking now! I start clinical again in 3 months, and I am in desperate need of a car. I did not drive for 15 years; and now I have my license! I have had so many health complications, but I just tell everyone that “GOD is just fixing me from the crown of my head to the souls of my feet”! I have worked so hard for these past 6 years of my Deliverance and my Salvation in CHRIST to get off of disability and Medicaid. I am not perfect, and I do not know everything, but I try each day to live to the best of my ability and walk with integrity. I am a little nervous at jumping out on FAITH into the work world, and yet so excited; I just do not know what to do with myself , but I know that my GOD is way greater than my understandings, and HE did not start something in me that HE is not going to finish! I have been ask many times to share my story which is so much deeper than this; I know that I could write a book, if only I had a publisher or knew even how to begin; I use to say there is nothing that I have not been through, gangs, streets, fights, all kinds of violence, stories beyond stories, but then I realized; I never say never, and I never say yet… Because it might bite me in my BUTT! So, I found this web site and I thought I would share my story in hopes that it would help someone to be an over comer.
If you live in Dalton, I know you know ME, and so you know what I have been through…Believe you me, there is NEVER NO HOPE for ANYONE, and THROUGH GOD there is HOPE FOR ALL. MY STORY is NOT OVER, because you see GOD is not finished with me as of yet! I pray that the LIGHT of GOD will SHINE for ALL to SEE the GREAT WORK that CHRIST is DOING IN ME!!
//From the SYSN Admin: Please keep Donna in your prayers. What verses of words of encouragement can you offer? Comment on Donna’s story, and Share YOUR story with us here: http://shareyourstorynow.org/share
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Story posted on Thursday, September 16th, 2010 and is filed under Drugs & Alcohol, Hope, Illness, Overcoming sin, Struggles, Suicide, Your Stories. | 8 Comments »
I spent 20 odd years on and off the streets, in numerous addictions, and a continual victim of domestic violence, co-dependency, and in sexual immorality. Through it all I always heard from others about how strong I must be to survive all the things I have survived. Two years ago I was broken in every sense of the word. I rededicated my life to Christ and Thanks to Him, I have overcome all that afflicted my being.