God Freed Me From Shame

“For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.””

[Romans 10:11 NKJV]

Phil writes:

I used to be buried in shame. I had been born out of wedlock to a mother who loved me and a man who wanted me to be aborted. Because of this I grew up without a father. Later, in preschool I was molested by my preschool teachers. A short time after that my mom married my first step-father, who turned out to be an alcoholic. The next seven years were filled with emotional torture, and eventually included physical abuse.

We were poor most of that time, even living on welfare at one point. Because of a number of factors related to that poverty and my upbringing, I was constantly bullied and made fun of at school from elementary school through middle school.
By the time my mom and step-father divorced I was depressed and suicidal. Though I went through counseling and became convinced that God must have a purpose and plan for my life, I turned towards sin and entered into a crippling addiction to pornography.

To deal with the shame I felt at my past difficulties and present sin, I did all I could to cover it up with a happy and fun exterior. By the time I came to college I jumped into the partying lifestyle as a part of that fake exterior. Finally I woke up one morning in a pool of my own vomit because of how much beer, mixed drinks and liquor I drank the night before.

At that point, overwhelmed by shame, I knew something had to change but didn’t know where to go for help. Two days later I went to a church where I heard the pastor say that we can begin to see God when we have been humbled. Since I felt humiliated, I figured I must qualify as someone who was close to beginning to know God.

One month later an evangelist came to my university and preached the Good News of Jesus Christ saying that God would become my Daddy if I would repent and trust in Him. He also said that God knew I would become the father I never had.
The shackles of shame dropped off of me that day nearly 8 years ago when I tearfully put my trust in God. Every day since then I’ve been learning how to keep living without shame as I put my trust in Jesus Christ. I am so thankful to God that he has made me new and clean, and that as I trust in Him I will never come under the power of sin and shame again. Even more wonderful is that He wants to do the same for you too!

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Circle of Prayer

Circle of Prayer is a ministry of the American Bible Society, a Christian ministry that has been engaging people with the life-changing message of God’s Word for nearly 200 years.

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