“I Am Struggling”
“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”
Nicole writes:
i dont know why but i always loved that phrase because i do love god with my heart,soul,and mind but i think im not needed, that it would be easier if i was gone so i wouldnt feel the pain.My friends just made it worse by being mad and scared and by that it just put more pain on me with their anger.When i was a little girl my parents got divorced,my brother who i loved so very much was stealing , i felt like it was all my fault even if it truly wasnt. yet i couldnty help thinking. I know god loves me but the pain of what ive been through in my life hurts and now im still thinking about suicide and my brothers in prison. I looked up to my big bro but maybe people wouldnt care if i was gone. im getting help for my depression and i promise i will try!!
Please note that the views expressed in this story are not necessarily the views of the American Bible Society. Story posted on December 19th, 2008 and filed under Loneliness, Sadness, Your Stories, Suicide, Struggles, Prayer, Life Verse.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
My dearly beloved Nicole in Christ:
I applaud you to be steadfast on Jesus’ Word of the Great Commandment, despite your difficult circumstances.
In the Great Commandment in Luke 10:27, Jesus continued to say:
“AND (LOVE) YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”
When asked: “Who is my neighbor?”
Jesus answered: “…But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion….” (Luke 10:33).
I understand how you feel being so alone and helpless, because there appears to be no caring family or community supportive system to help uphold you.
Nonetheless, this is precisely the time when you must be a “Samaritan” and “felt compassion.”
Pray for those so-called friends who misunderstand you, for
“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing ” (Luke 23:34).
Pray for your brother in jail: Encourage him to use his ‘free’ time to read the Bible (they have library hour/hours); attend the Chapel services and pastoral counseling available there.
See, if you truly love the Great Commandment, you know you are called to transform your own negative feelings and pain into faith, hope and love, and you are most needed to help your friends and brother, and others in similar predicaments.
Thank you.
May “The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you,
And give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26);
GODSPEED, always and forevermore!
Mary Sun.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Dear Nicole,
Jesus LOVES you. If you were the only person on this earth, He would’ve still died for YOU. There are times when all of us feel hopeless and desperate, but know this, that in God there is ALWAYS hope.
Romans 8:35 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?” verse 38 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor ANYTHING else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord”
Read Romans verses 31-39. I think you really need to know the unconditional love that God has for you. There is nothing you could do to change that love for you. He bought you with a price. You are His forever, and even though there is great pain in this life, you can know that you can have an amazing future and raise up a beautiful family that loves the Lord. God has a plan for your life.
There is an enemy of your soul that will do anything he can to try and take it away from you. Don’t give up. No matter what, DON”T give up and give in to the lies that you don’t matter. You do matter. God knows that, and the enemy knows that too. That’s why he’s trying so hard on you to make you quit. He’s scared of you. The devil is a liar!!!!
God has amazing dreams and purpose for you in the days ahead, and it’s up to you (with the Holy Spirit) to find it. :) I would encourage you if you’ve never recieved the Baptism of the Hopy Spirit, to ask God for that. He will give you amazing strength through that to defeat the enemy. You will notice a difference in you walk with God. You will be stronger. If you have questions about that I would encourage you to talk with a pastor. Please see a Christian pastor who has counseling experiece or a Christian counselor. God never meant for us to walk alone through these times, that’s why He gave us the church. :) Remember, Jesus is praying for you too! Rom 8:34″Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.”
God Bless You!
Sincerely,
-Jen