“I'm Finding Joy In The Midst Of The Storm”
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”
Lisa writes:
My life took a drastic change when my 55 year old father died on February 6, 2006. Even though I was married I lived in the family home to help my mother take care of my elderly grandparents suffering with late stage althzimers. I did everything I could to help my mother get through the loss of my dad.
On February 13, 2007 my husband broke into my family home totally out of control. I had never seen him this way and I had known him since I was 4. He began beating and choking me. At that point I yelled for my mother. She told Randy that if he didn’t leave she would call the police. Before we got to the phone he attacked me again. My mom tried to stop him and then he started beating her. I noticed him taking something out of his pocket and it turned out to be a gun and in an instant he shot and killed her.
I ran to my grandparents room hoping to protect them someway. I then told my grandpa that I had to go next door and get my brother Travis for help and call 911. I told him to keep the door locked and make him bust it down. I went out the window and told him I would be right back. I had promised him that I would be right back.
Once over at my brothers Travis got his gun and I called 911. Travis went out back and at that point a gun battle ensued between my brother and Randy. It ended with my brother being shot ten times, Randy fleeing to Laredo, Texas where has was caught 24 hours later and my mother and grandparents all three shot in the head. Since then I have lost my business, my home and at times have lived in my truck. I’m financially ruined and my family has no ideal how to get over this. Right now I’m living with my attorney and his wife.
In a year I had buried everyone that lived in my house. I had always been very close to my family and losing them in such a manner was more than I could take at time, but I kept praying and begging God to give me the peace and forgiveness that I desperately needed. I wanted God to somehow bring glory to his name out of this situation. And now it’s been 19 months and God did finally give me the peace and forgiveness I needed. I now talk and share my testimony to church’s and women’s groups. It hasn’t all been highs through this, but God never left my side.
I have truly forgiven Randy. It was God’s grace that has given me the peace and forgiveness that I needed. My goal is to help others that have been through a tragedy like this. And let them know that even though life will never be the same. You can still find joy in the middle of the storm. I’m also trying to help Randy get through this. I believe that is my Christian duty to do this. God allowed me to no longer see people through the eyes of the flesh, but to see them through the eyes of the spirit. I realized that he was a lost and broken soul that needed prayer and forgiveness.
I realized that I had to lay my life down and give it to Christ. And in turn he would take care of all my needs. I praise his sweet and precious name. He gave his only Son to die in my place for all my sins to mark my debt as paid in full, cancelled. And what he has done for me he can do for you if you just believe in Him and give your life to Him.
Please note that the views expressed in this story are not necessarily the views of the American Bible Society. Story posted on November 15th, 2008 and filed under Sadness, Death, Hope, Your Stories, Prayer, Divorce & Marital Conflict, Struggles.
November 15th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
My dearest Lisa in Christ:
Filial you have moved me with your “peace and forgiveness” under the most traumatic and tragic circumstances of your life.
I could visualize, indeed, that your Blessed Mother and Grandparents are smiling proudly over you in our ‘Father’s house’:
“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.” (John 14:2)
Blessed, too, are your God-sent “attorney and his wife,” who shelter and protect you in time of trouble.
Often, however, I could not help but marvel, and ponder how the Holy Bible, the Word of God, since the beginning of time, contains even the human native, depth psychology to guide us through every stage of our life.
Please do not feel offended by what I mean.
Throughout the Testaments, we are reminded: “… For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:15; Mark 10:7-8)
“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:9; Ephesians 5:31).
I pray, and trust that you will find solace, in truth and real life, that your husband did love you, had apparently missed your presence in his and your own ‘home sweet home’ too much, and became a ‘lost sheep’….
Timely pastoral/psychological counseling might have alleviated his physical and mental burdens, instead of growing into sort of a time bomb–destructive to himself and/or to you and others.
“And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, shall guard you heart and mind in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).
Please take good care.
May GOD ALL MIGHTY Bless you and Keep you, Make His Face Shine upon you,
and Be Gracious unto you, and Give you Peace;
GODSPEED with your loving mission, Always and Forevermore!
Mary Sun.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:52 am
What inspiration. I can see the miracle of Christ in your story and how the Holy Spirit given to you by Christ was able to draw on Gods love and direction through your trials and tribulations. What Satan means to destoy souls with…God uses to build up souls and his ministry. Your story moved me much like another. There was a woman who went to court and faced a man who was found guilty of murdering her beautiful daughter.Everyone expected her to really give it to the man, when she was permitted to tell the court how the death of her own daughter impacted her life, prior to his sentencing.She stood and looked him in the eyes and into his soul and said, “I choose to forgive you. I am going to raise my grandchild who was concieved by my daughter and of you. If I hate you, resent you, or do not love and forgive you…it will hurt this innocent child. This child was created by my deceased daughter and by you, I want to look at this child with love and not resentment. I love and forgive you. I give it to God. Now it is on your soul and between you and God.” How beautiful forgiveness is….divine. It doesn’t mean what was done is justified or erased, but it allows God to make true justice and frees the victims soul! That is what Christ came and died for…sinners. We should love the sinners and hate the sins. As Christ died he said forgive those who have crucifed me…for they know not what they do. You have demonstrated the same mercy in deed. Thank you…see you on the other side when the time is here.
June 4th, 2009 at 10:31 am
My dear Sister Lisa, your story was simply amazing, rendered me momentarily speechless. What can anyone say to such a testimony that has touched me deeply. May the Lord God Almighty reward you with a joy beyond what you can imagine. God Bless you.