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“God Always Brought Me Back Home”

“For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. “

[1 Peter 1:23 NIV]

Scott writes:

I am a 43 yr old African American male who is a licensed minister, married and have 2 children, Nia age 3 and son Simeon 5yrs old.

My journey back to the father started really when I was a child. I used to go to church alone since I was 12yrs old, when no one in my family went. I was a middle child, with an older brother and a younger sister. I used to catch the little yellow and beat up church bus every Sunday morning, with no one waking me up or pressuring me to go, I just went.

I used to love church, the only poster in my room was that of a velvet psychedelic Jesus hanging up with the Lords prayer glowing in the dark, that’s how I memorized the Lord’s prayer. I used to speak to Jesus at night and talk to Him and ask Him to reveal Himself to me, let me know if He was real. But nothing at the time happened, and I disappointedly went to sleep.

However, since my father was always speaking negatively about the church and about this “white” Jesus and that how “missionaries” went to Africa to get the African’s passive and used “passive” scriptures such as, “the meek shall inherit the earth” and that we as blacks are the children of Ham, and how white people such as missionaries/Christians used that verse and verses to justify the midatlantic slave trade (Genesis 9:22-25). It is widely known today as the “Hamitic Curse” we are black because we are cursed. I can tell you that even today how often it still comes up in different African American circles, especially online. The generational pain, that seed is still there even among the younger African Americans.

Well after that had been drummed into me as a child that to be a Christian and black was meant to be a sell out, for as was told to me, “how could any black man accept a religion from his/her oppressor?” or “They used the bible towards African Americans to make us a better and obedient slave, not as a liberating tool as is used for whites”. But really I just loved my father too much not to want to disappoint him or betray him. So I ultimately left the church and became non-religious. Just was a good kid who did the right thing, was obedient to my parents and didn’t disappoint them too much. Was a hard worker, well spoken and had great likeability skills since I have been given the gift of having eloquence of speaking.

I became a very successful salesman making a pretty good living, with not a real care in the world. I was living with a woman for over 11yrs, not really serious, just not wanting to be alone and she was comfortable with the relationship not really going anywhere.

I became a devout Muslim back in 1991 and was instrumental in bringing hundreds of other black men into Islam and was one of the pre-eminent Muslims that volunteered and was called to be on radio and on television as a debater about anything that was controversial that required me to be there to speak on behalf of the oppressed, and to fight the oppressor on all levels. I especially delighted in debating successfully, white Christians on the truths of the Bible verses the Koran. I was a student of everything that had anything to do with the evangelization and the weakening of the “black race” towards the controlling and the indoctrination of black people by white people. I was good, very good and too good. I knew my history of African history and of white history and of the dark ages and of the ancient African and great civilization of Egypt that fought the colonialists and how I worshipped the pyramids to know and was proof positive that yes, I was not an animal nor cursed by God, just for being black, that was a lie. I was black and proud to be black and I loved anything black, whether it was the Black Panthers, Malcolm X, Minister Farrakhan (whom I’ve met and spoke with numerous times and looked at him as a father figure). I was a black nationalist finally “free” and making my father—PROUD!!! I especially despised missionaries, one of my biggest heated arguments I can remember, was with a white missionary family I ran into while selling my wares at their home. I questioned them vehemently on why would a white family want to go to Africa to “help” dark and ugly Africans when they don’t help out African Americans here in America. I thought to myself, they must have an agenda, and I’m just good enough to draw the truth out of them. Well 4 hours later after I intellectually destroyed them and exposed them of their true motives, which in my mind was always to subjugate with the Bible as to help destroy black people worldwide as we accept our “lower station” in life as nothing more than servants and slaves to another white supremacy symbol, the White Aryan Jesus!!!! All I have to ask these white Christians who “loved” black people so much was, “So what color is Jesus?????” I already knew what they would say, “does it matter??” Mattered to Michael Angelo! That always worked, bring up the race of the creator and just wait for the white skin to start to pinken, and I’ve won!!!! I always won. But why was I so unhappy?????

I met my wife in 1999, and I was not any longer a Muslim, not because I didn’t believe in the religion, but I didn’t think they were militant enough. I thought they were just all talk, and no action.

My wife was a Christian, but at that time, I didn’t care what people believed in, thought it was a losing battle anyway, since blacks liked to be programmed by whites and their dogmatic Eurocentric Jesus and His all white disciples (could’ve made Judas at least black, oh yeah he was a brunette). I can still hear my father say while looking at the all the “last supper” images, “So where we (blacks) are, guess were in the back of the kitchen frying up the fish”, as everyone laughs……..

One day as I was watching one of those televangelists on TV, as he was prancing from left to right on stage after each good scripture reading and listening how these so called televangelists would use scripture and what they believed was God’s word to deceive them to reach into their wallets and give what they believed— God needed!!! I only watched them on TV, since I was a great salesman and always would pick out certain tactics that I could use in my sales presentation as well, since that was my gift. Sales!

As I was watching this particular televangelist, I began to laugh from within myself as I lay on the couch peeking at how dumb and silly these “sheep” must be to fall for this circus of a clown pimp/preacher, propped up in his best pimp suit, alligator shoes, probably a shiny Cadillac in the lot with a parade of women, lonely women at his disposal as he continues to trick them into believing in this white Jesus and this Kingdom in which no one who has ever died came back to tell us, just how sweet it is on the other side.

But instantly, I heard what I thought was a small and still voice that whispered from somewhere within me say, “What greater product or service can a salesman, sale that was more important and valuable, than the Kingdom of Heaven???” I propped up immediately, and asked my wife/girlfriend at the time that was in the shower if she said anything? She said no! Yeah, couldn’t be her, it was a man’s voice. I shrugged it off. I must be tired. But that answer, wherever it came from, stirred something within me. He hit me right in my gifting….

One day as I was driving with my girlfriend/wife, she was telling me how she thought the Holy Ghost was fake. I said, “Isn’t it?” she said no, she said one night at her church during a Christian gospel night, she got the Holy Ghost and completely lost it. Her mother and her aunt later looked at her wryly and said, “so His spirit is fake huh’??? I said,
“I would like to experience that myself”…Don’t even know where that came from. What was I asking? God was drawing me to Him and was about to save me.

That night, I was watching Richard Pryor, smoking a cig, drinking a bottle of Corona with a lime of course and about to spark up a fat marijuana blunt cigar. This was not the most holy of places for God to arrest me. But He did, right before I lit the blunt, He walked in from a door window behind me, I felt His presence as He walked right into me from behind and arrested me, and instantly I fell to my knees, crying profusely asking, “What do you want from me?” I was saved instantly.

I opened up the only bible I ever had, which was a bible given to me by my now deceased Grandmother, with my name inscribed on it and I immediately began reading it from beginning to end. I even quit my job, because it was interfering with my new found hunger, bible reading and studying. And within 2 yrs I not only was saved, but was licensed and became a missionary (those I hated and despised, whom I now love and serve and support and pray earnestly for).

God told me to go Orlando, He was going to prepare and train me to go to the nations to be a cross cultural missionary.

I came to Florida, knowing very little with my wife and 2 small children, not even knowing if I was going to get a job or not, with very little money. And right when it seemed I missed or maybe misheard God, and was about to go back home to NJ, I got a call from Gertrude Nicholas, Director of African American Mobilization of Wycliffe. She came to my home from Texas and thought I would be a great candidate for Wycliffe. She gave me Gary Peterson’s number and he invited me to his home and we had great fellowship. Andy Ott, recruiter for Wycliffe invited me out to dinner with him and also at another time invited my whole family to his home for dinner. Every time, I come in contact with a Wycliffe member or go to Word Spring in Orlando, its like when you read Luke 1:41, when Elizabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb, it was like my womb jumped. I’ve been already speaking about the Wycliffe program wherever I go to preach, I speak about the need for bible translation and for the church to be more on fire for those who perish without ever hearing of the death, burial and resurrection of God’s only begotten son, Jesus the Christ~~~