“My Baby's Death and God's Goodness”
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
Matt W. writes:
My wife and I were having our first baby. I was so excited and nervous, reading all the “how to be a great dad” books. We prayed for our little girl every day, and made all the necessary preparations with our house to provide for her and her safety.
As my wife entered her 26th week of pregnancy, God in his sovereignty caused my wife to have a seizure. The doctor told us they would have to deliver the baby immediately or both of their lives would be in danger.
At 26 weeks, my wife gave birth to Maggie Leigh (2 lbs. 2 oz). She was taken to the Neonatal ICU. There she struggled to survive as each day passed. With swelling on her brain and holes in her lungs, along with many other problems, things didn’t look hopeful for her survival.
We spent hours at her tiny, little bedside, praying for her, praying that God would be honored in her life and that He would allow her to live as a testimony to His awesome power. We were praying for a miracle!!!
Five weeks after her birth, God did do a miracle, but not the one we’d expected. God allowed her to die. The miracle that happened took place within my own heart.
I was reading my Bible and came across Ps. 84:11: “No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
God used that verse as well as others to let me see that if we are walking right with God, he will not withhold anything that is good for us. Therefore it was good that my daughter died, because God used her death to open my eyes to God’s sovereign goodness in all things.
Today I pastor a church in NC, to the praise and glory of a sovereignly good and gracious God.
Please note that the views expressed in this story are not necessarily the views of the American Bible Society. Story posted on December 7th, 2007 and filed under Death, Your Stories, Verses, God's Sovereignty, Most Popular Stories.
December 7th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Wow, Matt, my heart goes out to you … I’m so sorry about the loss of precious, little Maggie Leigh. I can’t imagine what you guys must have gone through.
I don’t know you guys, but I send you my love … and may you continue to find comfort in God.
Blessings to you.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Dear Pastor Matt W.:
Your heart wrenching story instills into me the beautiful transformation of what our human world deemed sadness into the power of faith and action. You lead, no doubt, your congregation with greater hope and love as His shepherd. I hear the echo of your utter dedication of “Father, into thy hand I commend my spirit….”
A stronger faith on earth than yours in not easy to find today.
May GOD ALL MIGHTY Bless you and yours, and GODSPEED with your disseminating His Gospel.
Mary Sun.
December 18th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Your story has deeply touched me. In April, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant again with our second child together. I have a 14 year old step daughter and our 2 yr old daughter, so we were hoping for a son. At 20 weeks, we found out we were having our son and within 3 days we found out I was in premature labor. They managed to stop it and our little boy stayed put for a week. I gave birth to our son at 21 1/2 weeks. We too prayed for a miracle. Normally they can’t be saved that young, but he was and lived for 4 days in the NICU before God decided to take our little one too. We are struggling since that was only 3 1/2 months ago. Jeremy too performed miracles with his short life. Our family is closer, my husband and are closer, and many across the world prayed for him. Even those who don’t normally pray. God is working in our hearts in a way I never dreamt possible. My prayers are with you since I completely understand how it feels. Thank you for sharing your story. It has given me hope that my husband and I will one day heal with God by our sides.
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
We just recently experienced the loss of a little baby in our family. The story is published on this website also “I Know God’s Will is Best.” It has been very difficult. But it is so amazing how God speaks to us through His word. That verse is such a comfort. Sometimes I wonder if he really does “Remember our frame, that we are dust” because he puts us through some incredibly difficult trials. You spoke of the miracle being done in your heart. That’s incredible to hear you speaking in such a way after such a loss. Maggie must have been so special that God wanted her with him right then! Thank you for sharing that verse. It was an encouragement. May I ask what church you pastor? I, too, live in NC.
January 11th, 2008 at 7:56 am
I have no doubt that the loss of your child was difficult, and, in the economy of God, sovereignly governed. But how is it that death, that which comes only as God’s curse (Gen 3), that which is opposed to God, should testify to his goodness? Where is Jesus Christ in any of this? Where is the resurrection?
The faithful Israelites knew God’s goodness was expressed fundamentally and indispensably tangibly, “in the land of the living.” May we look forward to God answering all our prayers on that Last Day, where your daughter will live out the bodily years evil has so cruelly taken from her. Then God will be not only hiddenly sovereign and good but transparently.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Nathan,
Thank you for your response to the story about my daughter. in your comments you asked “how is it that death…should testtify to God’s goodness?”
well there are a few response that i can think of, but let me ask you this… was Christ’s death a blessing or a cures for you??? And does Christ’s death testify to God’s goodness??? I think the answer is an obvious yes. The death of Christ is a blessing to you, and to me, not a curse because only by the death of Christ will you and I have the opportunity to LIVE forever. i think the assumption was that all death (that is physical) is a curse from God. I believe that assumption is wrong. think about this… without your own physical death you will never live with Chrsit eternally!!! In light of that death looks more appealing (however it would be wrong to say that we should therefore kill ourselves OR anyone else so that they will be with Him. It would be obviously wrong to disobey God’s Law)
Remember this that death came about not because of God, but because of man. We CHOSE death! God warned adam and eve that death would come if they didn’t obey. Death therefore came not so much as a “curse” rather it was the removal of God’s had of protection…and we were the one’s who removed the protection
I would like to comment on just one more thing that your wrote
“May we look forward to God
answering all our prayers on that Last Day, where your daughter will live out
the bodily years evil has so cruelly taken from her. Then God will be not only
hiddenly sovereign and good but transparently.”
I take it that you believe that babies go to heaven when they die from that statement…and i agree. Do you think my daughter who is in heaven now feels an evil has been done to her because her life was so short on Earth and now she (without really wanting to) must be forced to live in Heaven???
I would think it is an resounding no!!!! no evil has been done to my daughter or myself Heaven is a far glorious place to live, I mtself would trade this life for the life that is to come in a heart beat.
you said that you think that my daughter’s death was “sovereignly goverened”. If you really believe that then how can you also say that some thing “evil” has been done to her
“where your daughter will live out
the bodily years evil has so cruelly taken from her”… did EVIL take her life or did GOD???
i would like to hear from you maybe we could talk
e-mail me if you would like
ofbaptistpastor@bellsouth.net
In Love,
Matt
January 11th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Nathan just one more thing.
I didn’t mean to leave all of that without haveing some scripture to explain what i meant so i will leave you with just one verse.
Remember the story of Joseph…if your not familiar go back and check it out (Gen. 37-50)
Almost everythting that happened to him seemed “evil” especially what all his brothers did to him, but listen to what he said in Gen 50 years after all the “evil” happened
“As for you, you MEANT EVIL against me, but God MEANT it for GOOD, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today.”
-Joseph
one thing we learn from this verse is what man intends for evil God PLANS as good. i emphasize Plans becasue we often think that GOd doesn’t plan this “bad” stuff- he only takes the bad stuff in our life and somehow twists it and uses it for good… and that is not true GOD PLANS THE BAD STUFF.. he did in Joseph’s life he has in mine, and yours too.
Thanks for reading I hope it all makes sense.
Please let me know what you think
ofbaptistpastor@bellsouth.net
June 4th, 2008 at 5:33 am
hi Matt
I have read your story and your responses to Nathan’s email. You sound like you have such a warm, loving and kind heart. I would love to have the kind of trust and faith in God as you do- it must be so nice to have that assurance and security that God loves you and that He is so trustworthy, etc. I know about God; at times I feel I love Him (for who he is and what HE has done, in giving us life, if we so chose to beleive and accept), and in those moments I want to know Him deepely and trust Him like you do. But the thing is, I don’t trust Him and I can’t let Him into my life on a personal level because that would mean being really vulnerable. I don’t let anyone get that close to me because I don’t ever want to get hurt. Deep down though, I really crave the kind of love that the Bible states God offers. I have never had genuine love before, except maybe once- that was by my foster mum… but then she suddenly decided that she didn’t want me anymore. I loved her so much. And i trusted her and thought I was in heaven when I was living in her home(!) - but it all ended and I was absolutely crushed.
As you seem so warm and kind, I ask you now for a massive faviour. Would you please be able to pray for me - that my heart may “melt” and that I can open up my heart enough that God can reach me! I have such a hard time doing this - and I honestly don’t know if I will ever be at that point- but I want to feel God’s love in my heart, and to believe as you and your wife do. Could you and your wife please pray for me, and keep me in your prayers? I would really appreciate this. I need God’s love and Iwant to know it and to believe it. Thank you so much,
Emma.
June 12th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Emma,
I pray that you will find God’s love to satisfy your soul so deeply so intensely that no pain can shake it and no pleasure can compete with it.
Acts 16:31
Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved.
This life seems to demand that we work for and earn everything, but Emma, the love of God is free!!! to you. For God it cost him the life of his Son Jesus Christ… but to you FREE!!!
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
God at the cost of His son’s life will cleanse you from all wrong doing, and allow you to stand before Him having the perfection of Jesus
2 Corinthians 5:21
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Emma I love you… but more importantly God loves you and has made a way that you might be with him forever if only you will depend on him alone for your salvation
Acts 16:31
Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved