“Fleeing Abusive Marriage”
… Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it … let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Shila writes:
This scripture has been a great instrument in shaping me as a woman. From these verses, I was able to see how God had wanted marriages to be like, bearing in mind that marriage was meant to be enjoyed and not tolerated.
While I went through many years of abuse, one question kept haunting me, “Is it right to leave my husband?” What would people think of me, seeing that I am of an African origin?”
I got my answers from the Bible and slowly began to pick up myself, knowing that no one deserved to live in such pain.
I am a survivor of domestic violence. Now through the grace of God, I have come out of this abusive relationship and have this great desire burning in me to reach young women, hoping that my story will help them to be more focused when choosing a life partner.
It is my intention to reach men as well, to make them know how much their actions could contribute to the success or failure of their wives.
I have written my first novel, accounting for my abuse. Though it is a Christian book, it is my aim to reach non-Christians as well, which explains the absence of Bible quotes in the book. This book is titled Duplicity by Shila Amos-Efe, available at Amazon.com, WH Smith, Waterstone, Barnes and Noble, Trafford book stores, etc.
Here’s a snapshot of the book: Sylvia, a Christian young woman, falls in love with an unbeliever. Blinded by his charming nature, she forgets to seek God’s will in her life partner, she marries him and the real personality of the man emerges. Trapped in a marriage that is full of abuse, ashamed to turn to anyone for help, she carries on as though everything was fine. But for how long? Years into her marriage she remembers her mistake … is it too late? Would her unbelieving husband be saved through her faith?
Please note that the views expressed in this story are not necessarily the views of the American Bible Society. Story posted on November 23rd, 2007 and filed under Bible, Your Stories, Divorce & Marital Conflict.
November 23rd, 2007 at 9:10 am
Dear Shila:
It is never “too late.” “Love is patient and kind…,” agape and eros alike. Only till death do we part in holy matrimony.
I share your pain, though my own happy marriage lasted only twenty years with my Better Half’s departure into “my Father’s mansion.”
Be of good cheer. Your Christian faith and writing skills are assets in your favor. You can overcome your earthly adversities.
May GOD ALL MIGHTY Bless you and yours, and my humble prayers are with you.
Mary Sun.
November 23rd, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Shila, thanks for sharing so vulnerably. You’re a true survivor, and an inspiration! I’m very happy for you.
You’re a model for others who are in abusive relationships. You’re a model of beautiful self-love and self-care, and a model of strength and courage. Way to go, Shila.
Blessings to you.
January 1st, 2008 at 11:31 am
Dear Shile,
I also left an abusive marriage. I did not allow the Lord to choose a mate. A believe that the Lord chooses us to go through storms so we can be used to one day minister his word.
God bless,
LaMonica Thomas