“Using Scripture to Help Deal with Sadness”
As he [Jesus] approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it …
Andy Writes:
About five months ago I moved from Chicago to San Diego. Just recently the reality of my situation - being in a new city, trying to get connected - has hit me hard. I'm missing my friends and family back “home”! I'm feeling the loss. I'm feeling the sadness that comes with the loss.
I've learned over the past few years that to be a healthy, growing, loving person, it's important for me to process my sadness (though it's usually not easy!). For me processing sadness typically involves embracing it, letting myself feel it, sharing it with God and appropriate others, and listening to its story. Often, however, I get stuck, and I need help processing my sadness. And sometimes Scripture helps me get unstuck!
The parts of Scripture that often help me get unstuck are the parts that describe Jesus' sadness. The writer of Hebrews (in chapter 5) tells us that when Jesus was on earth, he wept in sorrow. In John 11, Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus. In Luke 19, Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem.
Jesus' sadness and deep compassion help me to embrace and feel my sadness, and also help me to experience Jesus' embrace of me in my sadness. Especially these days, as I'm trying to get connected in a new city, I often get this deep sense that Jesus is feeling my sadness with me, crying with me. In those moments I feel understood, safe and loved in my sadness. Those are healing moments.
That's a little bit about me. I'd love to hear how Scripture has helped you deal with and process sadness. I'm sure your story will encourage me and many others!
To comment on my story, use the comment box below. Alternatively, share your own story.
Please note that the views expressed in this story are not necessarily the views of the American Bible Society. Story posted on September 6th, 2007 and filed under Sadness, Team Corner, Loneliness.
September 7th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
i agree being sad and letting it show not to the world but to God is good practice in being patience, humble, hearing God’s voice, all of the fruits of the spirit.
September 10th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Hi, Larry. Thanks for your comment.
Along with inviting God into my sadness, I’ve found it incredibly helpful and healing to invite “safe” people into my sadness.
I must say, however, that it’s not easy for me to do this! There’s still a part of me that thinks that my sadness is unacceptable and unlovable. In other words, I still feel some shame around my sadness. I think my friends (and others) will withdraw from me or reject me if I show them my sadness. I think the only part of me that’s acceptable and lovable is “Happy Andy.”
So my instinct (and pattern) is to hide my sadness.
But I’m finding that as I bring my sadness into “safe” community, my shame around my sadness is melting away, my needs are getting met and I’m growing up.
Again, this is not easy for me. But the process of bringing my sadness into “safe” community has been incredibly healing and transformational for me.
Any thoughts? Does anybody else find it hard to embrace sadness and bring it into community? Has any Scripture been helpful for you?
September 12th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Thanks for sharing and for being honest and real about your sadness, Andy. I know the loss you were talking about. I moved from Indiana to Oregon 11 years ago and have found it extremely difficult to make the connections that I would like to make. Nothing like feeling like a foreigner. My prayer for you is that the Lord would surround you with the kind of friends that you need and even surrogate families that can encourage and support you.
Today’s a really rough day for me because of several losses of my own but I found encouragement just in knowing that there was someone else who can be honest enough to admit to their own sadness.